Day 29: P.A.C.E. – Positive Attitude Changes Everything

I have spent the past few days consciously trying to put positive thinking into action. And for the most part it has worked. I’ve been able to defuse a couple of situations that had the potential to disintegrate rapidly. I’ve been able to walk away from others that were hopeless. (“Do not engage! Do not engage!”) And I’ve been able to turn negative conversations into positive by injecting just the right degree of humor into the mix.

And then we set the clocks back.

I don’t know about anyone else, but if I had to rank the seasons in order of preference, winter would fall about 10th. That’s because I suffer from what used to be called the Winter Blues, but is now referred to as SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder.

For those who do not suffer from SAD, the best way I can describe it is continually swimming against the tide … a cold, dark, overwhelming tide. The mind chatter I experience when faced with waking up in the dark, going outdoors in the cold, or doing anything requiring large amounts of energy and enthusiasm goes something like this: “You have to do it.” “I can’t.” “You can’t just lie around till spring.” “Why not?” “It’s just [cold] [snow] [ice] [darkness] [cold snowy icy darkness]. You’re acting like a baby!” “Screw you!”

SAD creates in me an overpowering urge to curl up on the living room couch in front of a roaring fire with a cup of hot cocoa and my Great Dane. (OK, I have a Tibetan Spaniel, but a Great Dane is much more iconic.) It fills me with a craving for carbohydrates that is so strong that the only thing keeping me from getting in my car and raiding the bakery is sheer ennui.

For SAD sufferers, the fact that Christmas is in December is a cruel joke. Surely we cannot be expected to add all the gift-buying, party-going, and merry-making to our to-do list during this, the most slothful of seasons! Wouldn’t we all be better-served – not to mention better able to travel to the homes of distant relatives – if Christmas moved to the summer?

In addition to – or perhaps as part of – SAD, I am also blessed with a sensitivity to severe weather changes. Just yesterday – a beautiful, crisp, sunny fall day – I felt my mood begin to plunge in mid-afternoon for no apparent reason, though I tried valiantly to blame my husband for it. My educated guess would be that my body was attuned to the low-pressure system that was approaching. And sure enough, this morning I awoke to the sound of sleet, hail and freezing rain on my roof. Muttering an expletive, I turned off the alarm clock and went back to sleep for two hours.

So it’s time to break out the arsenal of SAD-fighting gear: the light box, the dawn simulator, the St. John’s Wort and Vitamin D. Those are the basic tools that allow me to keep swimming against the tide of winter, that enable me to do the other things the experts suggest – like exercising, going outdoors, and surrounding myself with as much positive stimuli as possible. Because a positive attitude does change everything … except winter.